Just another day

When you feel like everything was playing smoothly, a curse falls upon you. You get reprimanded, you get yelled at to the point of wanting to stab the culprit painfully at the back. I really want to do bad things and just a little thread of sanity is the only thing pulling me back from the good thing and that is to just brush it off. Maybe I may start showing symptoms of fighting back, later, I might start talking back, I might start ignoring them. I might even start separating myself from them and loosing all contact.

But what shocked me is the way I calmly and professionally hide these gushing feelings of mine. I really am so good at it, they might think I was another person if they ever find out about it. Truthfully I am terrified at my dark me, I am scared that I might actually do the things I have been visualizing, I might really do the things my dark me have been itching to do. All these bottled up emotions that are itching to burst to the surface. This other person I see in my lone mirror looking back with dark and lifeless eyes. This other person whispering swear words, telling me to voice out. This other person trying to control over my body and gush out the rage and anger. This other person to whom even I don't recognize. The same face, the same voice, the same tears but strangely this person in the mirror is different. Deaf to all the noises around her, fueled with rage and depression.

Murder

with these days where all i did was keep my emotions and true feelings bottled up, I erupted.
grabbing the only pointed thing that grabbed my attention best, with it's blade not so sharp, i struck it, not once nor twice but thrice.

stabbing with force unleashing all of my hatred to one strike was not enough to fulfill my desire