A HUGE DEGRADING

What the heck, what a real fucking bullshit you are. But I really thank you for opening my eyes. Now I see much better, Now I see that a degree attained at college can never be used to show how educated a person can be. You may have attained four years in that course but people who have attained less seemed much more educated than you. At first i thought that these quotes about the difference of an uneducated person sounds too cliche but alas. You are my first fucking fact to prove how regretfully true they are.

Now let me get back to the topic at hand. How dare she, point fingers when all she do was either go to other house, go out or stay at the room and stare at her phone. My goodness, imagine an almost 60 year old married woman acting that way. How shameless, and to think she brags about many things, that she had countless suitors at her mercy. That she graduated at a top school in Manila, that she even finished 4 years in college. And now what? He whom only had 3 years in college, became a policeman, married the wrong woman, gained unworthy children, suffered diabetes, still living in the same house as that nagging woman, retired after 20 years of service. You dare to insult him? Compared to you who finished 4 years, never got a decent job. Studied to become an educator but stopped the job not long enough,went abroad for how many months and then quits. All of those things compared to how the Man suffered. Always shuts his mouth, never talks back. He is wiser. But all you can see are his flaws, Don't you ever know how miserable it was living with you? You sound sweet only when you need something but becomes a demon all through the day. You vanish from the house not telling anyone where you're going but when he goes out, you get mad for him not telling.

You nag at small things but he suffered more. You complain about everything but he's the one who's sore. He tries to understand his children, all you do is disappoint.

02-24-19

I am getting really tired now, I am really fed up with how things are doing with my life. I can't even call this living. Getting ganged up by all the people around me, trying to blend in like I belonged here where in fact I was not. I can't even count how many times I have regretted m existence. Questioning my purpose. Nobody is there, no one I can count on, no one to approach, no one who can understand, no one to confide, I am left with nothing but an empty shell I call myself. 

Blank is all I can say, I am a blank person, no original feelings, no life. It seems like I am but just an empty shell being led around by everyone. I am just a substitute to everything. I was treated like garbage, just leaving me lying around when there is need of me. I give up trying to find somebody who would actually care for my well being, tired of expecting some night in shining armor would defeat the dragon that is trapping me in my lonely tower. 

What can I say? I was never the princess, I was the servant. I was never the main character but the supporting role. I was the person you see on the sidelines. Unlike the star I am but a comet that just passes by. I am the butterfly that only lives for a moment, not expected to do anything big. Just to live in an empty shell, then die in the end. 

As I write these emotions bottled up inside me, I can feel the fiery path my tears pave through my face. These invisible trails that travels down but has nowhere to go. These emotions that fades after the sun rises. This voiceless cry I feel that no one reaches.

A WEEK LONG SAD STORY

Monday, I see you walking through the front door

I liked your posture, your eyes, your smile I want to see it more

Tuesday, I was captivated by the way you speak

Your accent, your diction makes me feel weak

Wednesday, we talked for more than an hour

It was then our first ever encounter

Thursday, your voice, I can’t get out of my head

It always repeat the words that you’ve said

Friday, You confessed I was glad you felt the same way too

Though because of my actions, my feelings you did not have a clue

Saturday, Your confession I declined

I was nervous, scared, I was out of my mind

Sunday, you found another person it seems

Now I try to forget the man of my dreams

These days I try to avoid remnants of you

Though I knew it’s a fault of mine too

ALL ABOUT YOU

I dreamed of your eyes

I always see your smile

I remember your tears

It replays for awhile

Though this time I tried to forget

Even the day from which we met

It was once a love story back then

Was put to an end, I don’t know when

All these memories, all these pain

My pride was broken but what did I gain?

I thought our sparks was one of a kind

It had always ran around my mind

But alas these feelings were fake it seems

It was just one of the fantasies in my dreams

An imaginary situation that I had to create

To avoid the truth that I have to face