my feelings

I thought every thing had changed, I thought I have someone to lean on now, I thought I was part of something extravagant. Then I have concluded, everything was just imaginary, all those moments were just illusions, you were just faking it.

Now I have proven, there are only two types of people around me, those people that never cares for you and shows it through their actions towards you. Then there are those people that only sees you as a benefit, they treat you good as long as they want and when they have achieved their goals. They treat you as trash.

I was really disappointed at the outcome of that friendship. I thought it was getting good and it's real, then I found out the true colors behind that fucking mask they wear on the outside. That bad habit of mine to accept people by who they are, in the end I end up hurting and crying because I was deceived and unexpectedly by someone who is too close to me. I thought they treasured me, that when they feel bad I would comfort them because when I am in need, they too would comfort me. But now when I need it most, they are nowhere to be found.

Seriously... do I have to go back to being the cold and loner me to avoid hurting this bad. Why can't any brain functioning being understand that I have had enough of this pain. This unpredictable pain that has no cure. Why can't they understand a simple request. That if they are just about to hurt me, then they should better yet leave me.

Should I just hang a sign that says "I've been hurt enough" so those pesky homo-erectus would just leave me be. Those brain damaged beings that keep walking on earth. Unable to identify anything except their own feelings.

I am disappointed and embarrassed to say that they have we are the same species. I feel awful to belong to the same air and universe as these beings.