Independence Nay~

Funny how I always thought that Independence Day was a symbol for freedom and love with each other. June 12, 2018, my parents are fighting again, with the three of us in between. They decided to improve the garden shelves but ended up quarreling at the payment for them, my dad is currently jobless due to his early retirement and that leaves with my mom nagging about the money.

With us stuck in between their quarrels, not understanding how horrible it may feel towards us. All the bickering thrown back and forth causes stress levels higher than usual. Today I am unable to eat due to the tense atmosphere surrounding around my parents so ignoring the statement of my doctor to avoid fasting, I am currently on my room shouting within the top of my lungs, though it isn't your normal voice loud shouting. I am shouting through my texts, I am voicing my inner pain through these words I use, cause I don't want to cause trouble, nor do I want to cause grief, I want to protect my siblings, I don't want them to experience what a broken family feels like, but my parents' actions opposes so.

It is mortifying how I always notice these sudden dark atmosphere my parents emit these days. It's horrifying knowing full well that any time they might decide to pack up and leave, then they won't even think of looking back at what they might leave on. I really truly want to tell them to stop and talk it out, I want them to listen to my opinion about it. I want them to at least think for a moment how hurtful it is to hear our bond breaking to tiny million pieces.

Funny how I once thought that there are things money cannot buy, funny how I always oppose those cartoon villains that state money controls all. Now I realize how fragile money can make a person. How money can actually affect people's lives, How a single mention of money can turn my once happy home to a horrifying dead end.

With these intentions, I wish many things, I wish they can hear me now. I wish they could understand, I wish they can see, I wish they can feel before everything is too late. I have realized some things lately, how powerful my words are, I don't want to leave my siblings in pain and sorrow, I don't want to leave them vulnerable and no shelter to the harshness of life. I wish I can act fast as I write, I know my body and little by little I might come to the end. Like how I have wished it for. I want to settle my siblings before I go. I want them to be happy before everything else.